Troll Echos

It should stand to reason that countless pirate songs can’t all be wrong when describing the islands.  They drink a lot of rum.  I had no idea how much in fact.  They have types and flavors of rum you have never heard of, half of which would make any self-respecting pirate blush a little.  If the idea of chocolate rum, orange rum, and even ginger rum aren’t out there enough for you, they also make drinks using these crazy rums by adding everything from fruit juice to actual fruit to cream and an unlimited number of other things.  If you don’t like rum, you should consider visiting some other part of the world that hasn’t yet made its way into pirate songs.

Not to complain, but inclusive seems to have many definitions.  My wife would chime in at this point to remind me that all “All Inclusive” places follow a similar model, and I’m certain she’s correct.  My problem is at least partially based on the fact that I’ve never been to an all inclusive resort before, and before I give Sandals a bad name I would like to point out that it was certainly “mostly inclusive.”  

Resorts are big business.  There is really no other intelligent way to describe it.  To that end, they do everything in their power to get as much money out of you as possible before and during your stay.  Before we arrived they successfully sold us safari adventures and romantic dinners for two with exclusive butler service and candle light.  During our stay the choices were almost endless.

Tipping was strictly forbidden on Sandals property, that I am infinitely thankful for based on our experience at the airport.  Generally speaking, everything you want was included.  Assuming you only wanted food and drinks.  Wine lists were provided at almost every single meal, and they cost extra.  While wondering the resort, the uncommonly pushy camera men working for the little photo shop were around almost every corner like paparazzi.  Instead of taking pictures of you, they were there to ask if you wanted them to.  Trust me when I say that is almost as annoying.  Needless to say, pictures taken cost nothing, unless you actually want them.  That meant paying for them.  The gift shop was about as overpriced as any other you find in the tropics, but was obviously not included in the price of admission.  There was also an almost constant presence of staffers trying to sell you time in their spa or convincing you to book a return visit.

It wasn’t all bad of course, just a little overwhelming sometimes for a guy on the first real vacation of his entire professional career.  Thanks to the free meals being readily available, for some time after arriving back home I actually worried that I would go out to eat somewhere and simply get up and leave when I was done as I had done so many times on my honeymoon.  The experience of being able to order a 3 to 5 course meal with an alcoholic drink at every meal without concern for price was an awesome one indeed.  So, if you go to an all inclusive, be ready to to say “No.”  almost constantly to the attempts to upsell pictures, wine, and anything else they can think of.  It will still be a blast and a great excuse to put on some extra inches to the old waistline.

No trip to the tropics during hurricane season is complete without almost having to deal with a hurricane.  Ours included.  Hurricane Omar moved through the area around 200 miles from St. Lucia while we were there.  Since it was rainy season while we were there and there was rain everyday anyway, few people even noticed.  The effect if had on our tiny little island was nothing more than large waves thankfully.  

At the edge of our resort and just past the massive pool is a large stone wall with convenient stairs going down to the beach at random intervals.  When the seas were normal and happy, water never made it anywhere near that wall.  In fact in most places there were 20 to 70 feet of beach.  During the time when Omar was exerting its climatological influences the waves were actually around eight feet tall and were hitting the stone wall with enough force to throw salty mist at people in the pool.  

After a few hours of pounding waves the worst was over and the seas began to slip away back to their original position several yards from the wall.  The damage was done however.  The beach was effectively gone.  In its place was an impressive collection of rocks of all shapes and sizes and almost no sand at all.  The last step down to the beach from one of the sets of stairs was now slightly over three feet tall instead of the previous size of about a normal step.  Thankfully the ocean happily works itself out, and in so doing works things back to the way they are supposed to be.  Several days after the waves subsided, normal waves slowly dragged sand that had been churned up back to the beach and deposited it gently back over the rocks occasionally grabbing a rock and dragging it back out to sea as it left.  

At the end of the day it was very cool to see larger waves than are available anywhere in the northeast and I’m glad they weren’t any more dangerous than mere photo opportunities.